This is the story of losing the story.
Once upon a time, knights in shining armor, white horses, heroines and villains and happily ever after is bullshit. What chapter do you fall into? The one about your childhood? Your failed relationship? Your personal crisis of fate? Or do you live in the here and now with a blank slate, no wrongs and no rights?
It’s big work to let go of the story. Can you honestly forgive and forget? Can you live into the lessons, the gifts, the journey that has shaped you into the wonderfully, wildly multi-dimensional person that you are today? I asked myself this question this morning, “Is the story of hurt bigger than the story of love?” That is a thought-provoking question and one that begs you to stop and really examine that notion. Are you always the victim or always the hero? Or are you living authentically into all the hurts and all the loves that comprise who you BE today, in this moment? Brighter, lighter and more whole from the experience of all of it. Not shattered, bitter and skeptical of what’s next.
Its full tapestry, this thing we call life. And if you are living full keyboard, then you will be a beautiful woven web of all these emotions; happiness, joy, love, hurt, jealousy and anger and maybe a few more emotions du jour. But what do you do with them? How are you integrating all of that into your daily life; Into your relationship with YOU; your one true and pure love; Into your relationships with your partner, your children, your parents, your friends? There would be something wildly refreshing about waking up every morning with a clean slate, a canvas to paint whatever emotion that is evoked within, and then put it all to rest as you close your eyes and drift off to faraway places. And indeed this can happen, every day is a new beginning, the sun sets and rises and allows us to begin again, a new chance to show up in the highest and greatest version of ourselves, to exude pure love, to choose consciously to leave the past behind and live into each day as the truth of goodness, pure joy and exalted love.
I want to love life fully, this means, I am going to get my heartbroken, I am going to break someone’s heart, I am going to be the most joyous version of myself I can conjure up, I am going to laugh loudly and cry a thunderstorm of tears, I am going to show up for the ones I love and accept the love that is given to me-purely, freely and without expectation, I am going to expect the absolute best and I am going to get disappointed, I am going to continue to trip and to run unabashedly through the fields, I am going to make mistakes and I am going to forgive, I am going to say the things that matter the most and I am going to say things that don’t need to be said, I am going to hug tightly and I am going to let go, AND I am going to live this life fully with beautiful amnesia.
The never-ending end.