Is it better to have loved and lost…


Do you know what it feels like to lose something?  Something that is really important, something that makes your heart full, puts a smile on your face, something that quite possibly has influenced your life for a decade?  It feels awful.  Whether it is right or wrong, whether you choose it or someone else chooses it for you, it just simply hurts.  Life goes on, the sun still comes up and yet, here you are faced with a major feeling of disorientation.  Because now you are not part of “something” anymore, your team has been disenfranchised, your show has ended, your band-well it broke up.

I think the part that is truly the hardest, is swallowing your pride to admit that you lost.  But, the other part is that you just didn’t have what it took to close the other person, you couldn’t make the sale and convince them that you were worth it, that you were part of the reason that the sun came up everyday.

So you are left to put the pieces back together, to start over or do you think that when you get to the fork you just veer?  Or do you think you have to go back to the place you started.  I suppose you’ve come too far to ever go back.  The journey before you might be more exciting than the one behind you, but you have to forge that journey and to do that, I suppose, you have to get out of bed.

Here’s another question, why is it that people act like they have no idea how this feels?  Wouldn’t you just simply think of the person you love the most-stomping on your heart, slapping you in the face and slamming the door?  How can you not be empathetic, is just seems callous, really.

As a woman, that is constantly striving for the best, trying to be successful, planting her feet on the ground, so her child see’s stability, and keeping “it” (read: sanity) all together, yet, this still is not good enough, it will never be good enough because we will enter into another relationship of giving, always giving and never getting, never getting the one thing that would make all the difference in the world…love.

So without jumping up and down screaming pick me, pick me, I guess they will never know what they missed out on and you know what?  It was a lot.


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